Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Ooooh Oooooh I'LL TAKE IT!!! Bizarre real estate photos.

Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with tatting.

I am taking a break from the past two weeks of the daunting, exhausting, and all consuming task of house hunting. Yes, we are officially moving to Mississippi.
When? That is still to be determined.
For military related reasons, my husband has been apart from us for the past 4 and half months. As you can imagine, we are anxious to be a family once again. So we are in the midst of all kinds of upheaval in hopes that we can be together by the New Year.

Anyhow, this post is just a funny aside. I have seen dozens and dozens of homes with hundreds and hundreds of AWEFUL photos.
Realtors, what's up?
Seriously, how hard is it to get a decent photo? Take note because I'm doing you a favor here. These are just a tiny fraction of photos of actual homes I have looked at to give you a taste of how hilariously frustrating this process has been.

Here is what not to do!

This first group is "BIZARRE ANGLES"
These types of photos tell me basically nothing and are a waste of my precious time.

I'm going to call these "LAZY PHOTOS"
So uh we can't even take the time to rotate the pictures? I found tons of photos like these.
Question, does the horse come with the house because if it does, I'll take it! And if you are wondering why the upside down house has been on the market for over 500 days, it's probably because that is the only picture included in the listing.

of items that have NOTHING to do with the house.
So do any of these things come with the house, because if they do, then I'll take it!

I decided to spare you the tedium by only showing two photos, since all these pictures are the same.
Look, I don't want to see this! Who does?

"Blurry pictures"
Again. Why?....oh and I'll take it!

I was going to include a multitude of "WALL PAPER" pictures, but those have nothing to do with realtors, they are just hilarious!

But I will include these two pictures because they are just plain fun!
This shack's selling point is that it is a "man cave". I'll take it!
Pink fireplace? I'LL TAKE IT!


Mad Tatter said...

ooh those pictures are great. can we see wall papers too. some of those can be gut wrenching. he he

Miranda said...

LOL! I sometimes look at real estate sites just for entertainment. Those are some doozies! Remember, though, try not to look at the colors. You're going to repaint it anyway, right? Maybe they should consider putting photos up in black and white.

I have to admit, some of them do make sense on some kind of level. The one with the wine glasses is probably not meant to show you the glasses per se, but the nifty little slots they're hanging from. Doesn't do anything for me, but for people who throw a lot of parties I can see how it might be a desirable feature. Maybe. And the closet ones are presumably there to show you how much the closets can hold, although it would have been better to show them empty. Because, yeah, who wants to see somebody else's stuff?

As for the blackberries, well obviously they're trying to show you that the house will magically present you with a fresh bowl of blackberries every morning! I'd definitely take that!

Bottom line, when you're trying to sell a house, people want to see the house, not your stuff in it.

And yeah, for heaven's sake rotate the photos. How does one even take an upside-down photo? To be fair, the sideways kitchen does actually look fairly nice if you pick your computer up and rotate it 90 degrees. But if you're trying to sell something, you show it right side up instead of making the buyer do the work of figuring it out.

And what is that red and white pic trying to show??? I can't even tell which way is up in that one!

You would think that people whose livelihood comes from selling houses would understand what people do and don't want to see.

Jane Eborall said...

We once went house hunting with the 'kids' in Cincinnati. It's a whole new experience in America and so very, very different to here in the UK. The whole thing is different. Interesting too. Good luck - you'll need it by the look of those pictures!!!

tattrldy said...

Some of those pictures were pretty awful! My daughter has been house hunting and we were discussing the difference now and when we (her parents) were house hunting 25 years ago. At least now you have pictures on the Internet to look at so you can eliminate some without ever having to drive to the house. Or even talking to a Realtor until you have some ideas about what's out there. Good luck!

Ladytats said...

Oh goodness, well keep your sanity with a bit of hilarity.
Good Luck with the hunt.

Marty said...

You'll just take it to be a together again family, right? Oh, and we do need to see the wallpaper. :) We just put my dad's house on the market -- no wallpaper but LOTS of 1970s wood paneling! Best luck finding somewhere you can all live!

Lace-lovin' Librarian ~ Diane said...

Maybe I'll just stay in my house forever. I do not envy you your task, but it will be nice when you can be a family again.

Margarets designer cards said...

By the look of those photos I can only wish you good luck. It's very different in the UK, but the descriptions they use here mean anything. One phase they use is in need of some updating means it's falling down.
I hope whatever you find will at least have four walls and a roof, and you are all back together before Christmas

Adrian said...

Oh, they're bad!

But are they as bad as some of these?

Terrible real estate agent photographs

I'm a big fan of the Garden Chair of Solitude :)

Fox said...

As an ex-real estate agent - and a very successful one I might add, because I did NOT EVER exhibit my listings in this way - I have no words!

Hilarious! Good luck Sherry!
Fox : ))

Cindy said...

I found your Tatting Blog this morning. I live in Biloxi, MS. What part of Mississippi are you moving to? I might be the only tatter on the coast, so if your down here let me know! My name is Cindy.

Amie Cleghorn said...

I had to tell you I got a good laugh at your real estate photos! That is my "other" job - doing tours for Real Estate listings. The object is to make the home show at its best! I hate having photos of closets! First they are unattractive unless there is a major storage system. And second, if there are any valuables (or a safe) in the closets you really don't want that out on the internet for all to see.