So this is not going to be tatting related but I think it is worth sharing since our world seems to be in such a contentious state. And don't worry, this is not a religious or political post.
Please read on.
For nearly a year and half we've had no internet and we haven't had television for years. So I have been out of the "what's happening in the world" loop for quite awhile.
To be fair, we did have smart phones that did not work at home, but that I could use while in town. I did use Facebook quite a lot. I tried to get to the library once a month or so to catch up on bills and business. What I am trying to say is that I had basically no leisure time on the Internet. With how full my plate is, my limited Internet time was very directed.
Oh, I whined and complained. I told everyone how, "this is killing me", and "I can't live this way!"
I used to consider myself pretty savvy with the Internet and all the latest technologies. And now I feel like a grandma who never learned how to operate a remote control.
Well, I have had internet access at my home for nearly 3 weeks now. It's actually pretty poor service, but bad service is better than no service right? So I was ecstatic! Information is now at my finger tips once again, even if it is at dial up speeds. I can send and receive emails, (although it seems these days that email has been largely abandoned), I can blog again...YEAH!!!
All good stuff! Right??
But I have learned something that I never realized until now. During the last year, I have never been happier. I feel like there is a future for my child. I am enjoying the beauty of each day. I feel like I am a better mother and wife, and my health has improved. I have formed relationships with my neighbors, which I never did before. (Ironic because in the country neighbors are all a fair distance away
I've rediscovered how wonderful it is to have a smile on my face when I deal with the public. My spirit has become much more generous towards humankind in general. I truly believe that what you "put out there" is what you get back.
So what does all this gooey, happy, unicorns and rainbows, stuff have to do with the Internet?
You know that saying, "You don't know what you have until you lose it."?
Well, this is kind of the opposite, I didn't know what I was missing until I gained it back.
The very first week I was back on the Internet I caught up on current headlines and world news. I was thinking, "Wow, is the world this badly off?, I feel like the apocalypse is right around the corner. The sky is falling!"
My stomach started to hurt, I wasn't sleeping well, my headaches increased, and I started grinding my teeth again. I became snappish to my family. I started feeling depressed and disenfranchised again. Jaded. I didn't realize it but this is who I was before "no internet".
Once again, I am feeling anger about the great divide amongst my fellow human being;, how everyone from opposite sides, think they are right and righteous. All the hatred, the level of tension I feel is palpable. I firmly believe that the lying inflammatory media machines that are our major news networks are solely responsible for all of this!
It is literally in every sense of the word, sickening!
Aye yai yai!
Just writing about it now, I can feel my blood pressure rising and tightness in my throat.
I very nearly decided to do away with it all once again.
I am so thankful for this realization and the wonderful, unplanned vacation I had from the outside world.
I have since taken steps to gain some of that mental freedom back by being very particular with my online time. I'll be focusing on good stuff, like tatting, blogging, the farm and my art work, and mostly my family.
Some people might say that I am burying my head in the sand, and they might be right. All I know is that I am a better person when that garbage is out of my life!